Sunday, April 12, 2009

My son fell in our lily pad pond, he's alright but I am so angry with myself?

My almost 2 year old child fell into a lily pad pond right outside our house, I was less than two seconds away he just ran and fell right in, I pulled him out quickly and he coughed and cried so he%26#039;s fine but I am just so angry. I panicked and started yelling at him and even gave his leg a light whap when we got in the door. It scared me so bad, but now I am so angry that I got so upset with him he is after all just a child. How can I make it up to him? How can I react better to circumstances such as this I know better than to take it out on my child thinking that just telling him a minute ago to stay away from it and hoping he will remember it what can I do next time just take him in the house.

My son fell in our lily pad pond, he%26#039;s alright but I am so angry with myself?
Don%26#039;t beat yourself up over it. It%26#039;s probably one of many things that he will do that will scare the bejeezus out of you. You reacted in a way that is very normal for parents, you were upset because he didn%26#039;t listen and it could have caused him harm. It%26#039;s the typical running out in the street thing, we tell em%26#039; not to but they do it and then we freak out and don%26#039;t know if we want to hug them or spank them. I would go out by the lily pond and get down to his level and explain that it%26#039;s okay to look at but that we shouldn%26#039;t go near it because we could get hurt...etc. I%26#039;ve also found that when something like this does happen my child tends to understand the danger once he sees mom go bat **** crazy and tell him over and over again how much it scared me and that he shouldn%26#039;t do it. It usually does the trick. Good luck!!
Reply:Dont%26#039; be too hard on yourself! You were emotional and scared and didn%26#039;t handle things perfectly... so what? Nobody is perfect! Frankly your boy is so young that light whap is not going to affect him too much one way or another.





If it makes you feel better, apologize to him, but honestly, it%26#039;s fine. You%26#039;ll be fine. He%26#039;ll be fine.








I don%26#039;t think you%26#039;ll have this problem in the future, as the scary episode of falling in the pond was a natural consequence of running toward it, and your boy is not likely to repeat his actions! However, if he does, just do your normal negative consequence, such as a time-out.
Reply:If it was your lily pond why on earth wasn%26#039;t it fenced off if you have a child this young ?


He isn%26#039;t going to understand why he was smacked and why you reacted the way you did...telling a 2 year old to stay away isn%26#039;t going to work they want to look and check things out..i know i had two two year old%26#039;s !


Forget about this now and just think before you act as my mum always says to me ..after all he is only two
Reply:Things can happen quick. Don%26#039;t feel guilty for getting angry. Anger is just a cover for fear. You were afraid that if you had not been closer, that you would not have realized he fell in and something bad could have happened to him. I have had


my 2 yo fall right in front me and had to get stitches in his head, so accidents will happen, you just have to be calm, and try not to panic, if something does happen. But having any kind of water near your house is pretty dangerous, maybe have a gate put around it if at all possible, or just be prepared to keep your eyes on your son whenever hes outside, even just for a second....
Reply:drain the pond or put a fence around it.
Reply:Please don%26#039;t beat yourself up over this. I%26#039;m sure between you being upset and him being scared from falling that he probably won%26#039;t go near the pond again. It is okay for you to be upset that he scared you, it should upset you enough that you take action so he remembers not to do it again.
Reply:Dont beat yourself up. You probably over racted a bet yelling at him, but its not going to scar him or anything. When I was about that age we had a little creek it was very small mostly muddy, with a littel water in it. I was outside with my dad and I fell in head first and got stuck! My dad had to run over and pull me out. I dont remeber it, but my dad laughs about it now. Of course it scared the crap out of him untill he figured out I was ok. Just teach him to stay away from it, he will be fine!
Reply:Honey don%26#039;t feel so bad you did nothing wrong the main point is that you where right there as for getting mad and swatting him My personal opinion is this is when your suppose to give him a little swat not when they get in your makeup bag or break a lamp times that he could really hurt himself It will make him remember and hopefully keep him from doing it again. Your a good mom I know because if you weren%26#039;t you would not be asking this question give him a big hug and tell him he can%26#039;t ever get into the water again. (also I like the swim lessons idea being you have water so close to your home)
Reply:Basically, you need to explain it to him.





Most importantly, get him into an infant swim class. I have looked into and will be starting my 7 month old in the classes shortly. Check out infantswim.com to see if any classes are offered near your area.
Reply:In all likelihood he%26#039;s probably forgotten your reaction to what happened. It was wrong, obviously he didn%26#039;t mean to fall into the pond. In the future try and give yourself a few seconds to react to thigns he does do wrong. If you feel like you%26#039;re going to lose it/temper or whatever then sit him in a quiet spot like timeout then when youre calm go to him and get on his level and tell him why what he did was not acceptable.
Reply:Well don%26#039;t beat yourself up too much. All that adrenaline from being scared had to come in to play with the way you handled it.





I would say to make it up to him have some cuddle time and tell him you love him. And to react better, just remain calm and pick him up and make sure he%26#039;s ok and then just tell him to be careful. Don%26#039;t feel too bad. All mommies make mistakes :)
Reply:Get a little fence-- don%26#039;t be so hard on yourself-- sh*t happens!
Reply:Please don%26#039;t beat yourself up over it, but take it as a serious warning. I know someone who turned around for two seconds as well, and her child fell into the backyard pool. Sadly, the baby died in the hospital three days later. Please put a fence around your pond, and make a rule that you need to keep your eyes on your son at all times while he%26#039;s outside.


*EDIT* Swim classes for babies and toddlers are NOT meant to teach water safety! That%26#039;s why the AAP strongly discourages them! They give parents a false sense of security. A baby swim class will NOT protect a young child around water; parental supervision will!


http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/c...


http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/jun...
Reply:do not feel bad .It happened to me a few hundred time over the years,,,when children do that it scares us and our first reaction is to get angry. parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job in the world,
Reply:The reason for that reaction was because you were scared at the time, which is understandable. I%26#039;m sure your little boy still loves you and knows you love him. It is sometimes hard to keep a clear head when your child is in danger. Just be consistent with him, keep telling him %26quot;No%26quot; while you show him the pond. Don%26#039;t beat yourself up over this. It was an accident.
Reply:what you need to do is to get a special net for covering ponds. I only realised my little one could open doors when I saw her. One day you will be on the phone or balancing your check book and not realised he has stepped out by himself by opening the door or because it was not closed properly. he could easily drown.





this has been your warning to set things right before tragedy strikes.
Reply:The issue is that he could have drowned, drain the pond.
Reply:You know, I read the question title and thought, oh poor girl. I%26#039;ve completely changed my mind on that. I don%26#039;t think that yelling at him or whooping him was the best idea. He%26#039;s not even 2, and you should not punish him because you weren%26#039;t paying close enough attention. I give my 4 year old whoopings, but not for something I very well could have prevented.



beauty

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